BeachBumSk8r

New account, but I’m not new here. I’ve been gooning to all the wonderful content this site has to offer since 2008. There’s literally people on here now who were just being born when I created my first account. That’s insane to think about! Anyway, I had problems with my original account (Sk8rkid) that couldn’t be fixed, so I had to create this one. I lost a ton of content because of that. I’m still pissed I had to reset my “days on xHamster” counter. I was well past 6,000 days.

Yes, my nickname really is Penny. If you want to know my personality, I've been told I'm a male version of her from the show "The Big Bang Theory" because I'm "not all there." I'm also goofy, silly, forgetful, not the best driver, dress slutty, have a tendency to "space out," try to use big words but just end up screwing it up, love to laugh, can be manly occasionally, change hairstyles like underwear, can't hold down a relationship (commitment issues), eat a lot of pizza, cheesecake and Chinese food, love my iPhone, love to shop then wonder where all my money goes, always horny and slutty (especially when buzzed or drunk) and don't take anything seriously. Life's too short for that crap. I'm also a "little" ditzy and gullible, the way some people might describe a "dumb blonde" or as Sheldon in the show puts it: "a blonde monkey." Oh, and I'm neurodivergent, somewhat OCD and most likely a little on the spectrum. But I'm GenX, so I couldn't tell ya for sure. None of those terms existed when I was growing up. And even if they did, my parents wouldn't use them. They'd still call me "different," "strange," "weird," or "quirky." Tough love. You're fine. Wash it off. It'll buff out. Quit being a baby. But did you die?

So yea, "The Big Bang Theory" is one of my favorite shows. As well as "How I Met Your Mother,' "Friends," "Young Sheldon," "Stranger Things," "Lucifer," "Law & Order," "Dateline," "Ghost Adventures," "The Dead Files," "The NewsRoom" and various true crime shows.

Speaking of GenX, the 70's-90's were the best times, I promise you. Born after 1999? Sorry, but you're part of the worst <PERIOD> generation <PERIOD> EVER <PERIOD> And yes, I stole that from "The NewsRoom" If you want to hear the rest of what I consider to be one of the best speeches ever, just Youtube "The NewsRoom opening scene." That speech brought tears to my eyes because it's so true.

If you made it this far, thank you.

So anyway, on to why we're all here: I like to masturbate to porn, a LOT. All my life I’ve had an unhealthy addiction to porn and masturbation and that has had an impact on me and my ability to hold down a relationship for long periods of time. My longest one was five and a half years. I blame it on the 23 year old man who took my virginity back in the 1980’s. Or not meeting the right person. But it's probably the first thing.

I was a “rink rat.” Someone who calls a skating rink their second home. Basically someone who is there all the time, open to close, other than to shower and sleep. I was part of a big group of rink rats back in the 80’s and 90’s, and this guy was one of the managers there. I guess I was just cute enough to catch his eye. I spent the next several years being his fuck toy because I was too embarrassed to tell anyone what he was doing to me. Plus, I was kinda having fun with it. It made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside just knowing that I, little ol me, can make a grown man feel that good and fall completely limp for a few moments. The loud moans and satisfying look on his face, I loved it. I had no idea what exactly he was feeling because I wasn't able to orgasm yet. But I enjoyed feeling him inside me and giving him head. And once my orgasms did start happening, I knew we had something special. I now understood why he wanted sex several times a day and why he always said he loves me. He also said I'd be chasing that feeling for the rest of my life. He was right. And that’s pretty much when my porn, masturbation, cross dressing and sex addiction began.

If you want to know more about me, or just want to chat, send me a DM. As a porn and masturbation addict, you can imagine I’m on here quite a bit, so I’m usually fairly quick to respond. But I feel I've already told you everything!